The sequels for this could really go on forever at this rate.
Archive for March, 2010
Another one of my ‘shops has been featured on Cracked.com! This time around, we explore the DMV’s take on Mario Kart power-ups in real-world applications. Otherwise, you can read the dude’s whole article here. It’s pretty good.
So yesterday I attended a GameCamp convention – it’s this thing where about 20-40 people from the gaming industry around Edmonton all get together in a pub, show off demos, and talk about the industry. I figured it would be a great place to make some connections and even find some employment opportunities. Ironically, everyone there turned out to be unemployed.
However, there was a demo that really caught my eye – something that’ll probably be the future of gaming in the next five years: super casual gaming. Gaming that’s so casual, you don’t even need to be playing a video game to play it. By using your iPhone to scan barcodes around the world, or even individual people, the system can take what you do in real life and carry it over to your game character. Doing things like going to the gym, shopping, attending local events and even climbing Mt. Everest could grant you in-game experience points, money, trophies, and so on that will carry over to any MMORPGs or Facebook games you’re playing. It’s basically gaming that’s designed to get you out of the house.
I keep thinking that super casual gaming is somehow going to lead to the end of the hardcore gamer. In the gaming world, nerds rule because they sacrifice a social life to hone their skills. But it can all be in vain if, while playing Warcraft, they happen upon a player who visits the gym several times a day and is already at level 5000000 because of it. Now they’re competing against people who can beat them up in video games and in real life. It’s like “Revenge of the Jocks.”
Anyway, on the topic of video games, here’s a follow-up to that other Mortal Kombat video I posted a while back. Enjoy!
Terrence showed me these things back in December and I told him I was going to front-page one of them immediately. Here we are three months later.
1. Boss fights are a lot more fun when you’re riding on the back of a giant woman.
2. Any God can be killed if you punch them in the head enough times.
3. When we die, all souls are judged by giant robots.
4. You can drive any animal by hopping on it’s shoulders and repeatedly stabbing it in the head.
5. The key to pleasing a woman is the proper combination of X, Circle, Triangle and twirling the Analog Stick.
6. Every obstacle can be overcome as long as you have giant boxing gloves made out of lions.
And finally 7. The unwritten history behind what actually happened to all the Greek Gods was enormously bad-ass (on a Jason Statham scale of 12 out of 10,) and curiously full of lever-pulling puzzles.
Incidentally, I’m still wondering how a guy who can lift a Titan can have so many problems with locked doors.
-Chris Ushko, Box of Mystery 2010
Okay, so I’m three days late with this one. But I still like it.
I have to give props to the creators. I’ve seen “Robot Chicken” try their hand at Nightmare parodies, and they didn’t even put in a fraction of the effort that these people did.
Al Lowe’s Cyberjoke 3000 sends along this awesome video of a guy who plays the piano and sings songs about everybody he meets on Chat Roulette.
An image I made was featured today on the front page of the Cracked website as part of their Daily Featured Topics segment. They were looking for a header image and paid me a whopping $25 (I’m rich!) to make an infograph about why anybody would ever use a pay phone these days. The article itself can be found here. Feel free to “Digg” it.
I do have to say, the article itself kind of confuses me. The picture I made points out 15 reasons to use a pay phone. Then the article goes on about the top 10 reasons to use one, but then only lists 5. Of course, it should be noted that Cracked’s writing staff is entirely made up of random people from their forums. But oh, well. $25! Yay! 30 more of those and this month’s mortgage should be covered.
Oh, yeah. I forgot about this.
Well, here’s my newly re-written list of last decade’s finest. To put this list together, I consulted a lot of my younger friends and relatives, trying to figure out which movies were to their generation what movies like “Ghostbusters” and “Jurassic Park” would be to my generation (and kids these days seem to be looking back fondly at a lot of R-rated movies.) Anyway, here’s the final list:
It’s sort of redundant to put any Pixar film on here since they’re all gold, but Wall-E marked the last time any critics looked at a Pixar trailer and said “looks like Pixar’s got a flop now.” 45 minutes of Pokemon robots saying their own names, followed by 45 minutes of fat people rolling around, and it was still epic. Come “Up,” nobody questioned Pixar anymore.
|9. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
THIS is what a car-racing movie should be. No undercover cops. No deals gone bad. No corporate conspiracies. Just cool cars, hot women, and a dude driving really fast around sharp corners in Japan.
|8. V for Vendetta
Dude brought knives to a gun fight and WON.
|7. The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
An odd choice, but it has been argued that this movie is so mind-boggingly stupid that it practically borders on brilliant. Truth be told, I can’t even come into the last half hour of the show without watching the rest of it. Those David Hasselhoff scenes alone are some of the best things ever put to film.
|6. Shaun of the Dead
Zombies, a cricket-bat, the music of Queen, and one guy doing his worst to save everybody. I’m starting a slow clap now. Feel free to join in anytime.
|5. Team America: World Police
Everything you ever need to know about world politics. As performed by puppets.
|4. Kill Bill
Can’t have one film without the other. 90 minutes of sword-fights and exploding blood-filled condoms go hand-in-hand with 2.5 hours of people just sitting and talking about sword-fights and exploding blood-filled condoms.
The strange thing about Transformers is that everyone either loves it or hates it, but nobody’s calling it a cult film. Granted, you could say the same about any other Michael Bay movie, but I have to give both him and Steven Spielberg credit for actually turning some ridiculous kid’s thing into something ridiculous for all ages. I mean, come on – my mom wouldn’t even buy me the toys as a kid, but I swear she watches this movie every week.
|2. Super Troopers
Because meow. That’s why.
Why? Because in the last ten years, every blockbuster film has tried to be the “biggest movie ever.” Lord of the Rings, Spider-man, Gladiator, Pirates of the Caribbean, the Dark Knight, the Matrix Trilogy. And yet when all was said and done – and not a single filmmaker could top “Titanic” – James Cameron just sighed, strolled on up and said “here, let me show you how.” Then he made the blue kitty smurf version of “Pocahontas” and made the most money ever. That is mad skills right there. I’m sure most studios are still scratching their heads trying to figure out what they were doing wrong.
And just for kicks, my own personal list of favorite movies from this decade (in no particular order.) I find these ones are just really good rainy day movies:
- The Incredibles
- A Knight’s Tale
- The Road to El Dorado
- Almost Famous
- Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
- Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
- School of Rock
- Lilo and Stitch
- Kung Fu Panda
- I Love You, Man
And now I’m done with the lists for now. In the meantime, what were some of your personal favorites?
Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin doing a parody of “Paranormal Activity.” Somehow, 0:20-0:25 makes me laugh every time.
Seriously though, did they ask Alec Baldwin to be on the show so he could be Steve Martin’s punching bag? I can picture George Clooney taking that kind of verbal abuse and laughing, but Alec Baldwin strikes me as the kind of guy who bottles it up and strangles Steve Martin after the show.