Here’s something I’ve been forgetting to blog about:
I just moved to Vancouver last night. The VFS moved my classes up by two months, so I’ve been running around like a headless chicken trying to get everything ready to go (and somehow managing to stay on top of the latest Weird Al news in the meantime. Priorities, right?) The drive in was pretty insane, with heavy rain and me hydroplaning down the side of a mountain the whole way. I also saw a herd of bighorn sheep on the side of the road with a flock of tourists walking right up to them to pictures.
Anyway, I’m staying in my cousin’s guest room for about a week until I can get my hands on an apartment. VFS’ orientation starts tomorrow, so I have to start acquainting myself with the city. It was a disorienting experience driving into it last night since it was dark, raining, and my car was so full that I couldn’t check my blind-spots. So as far as I know, this whole city’s just a dark sea of ravenous motor vehicles and flashing lights. Hopefully that will change here in the day time. For now – I’m off to explore.
Supposedly, Lady Gaga has now approved of this parody, so it will end up going on Al’s new album. I’m still convinced that Gaga became petrified when her own fan-base turned against her, so she fell back on the old “my manager did it” excuse. It warms my heart to know that Weird Al has a backing big enough to scare even Lady Gaga.
A while ago, some people made this short video to show off their vision of a darker, grittier “Mortal Kombat” movie reboot. At the time, a lot of people ate it up, and now it’s reality. But instead of a movie, they’re releasing it as a 9-part web-series, and here’s episode 1:
My personal opinion is that I still think of this as a joke. I mean, for a low budget web series, the action is pretty good and I like the actors, but so far, the idea of re-inventing “Mortal Kombat” as a Steven Seagal movie doesn’t stick with me. It seems like a step backwards from “R-rated sci-fi fantasy version of ‘Enter the Dragon'” where at best, it might be an interesting experiment, just to see if it can be pulled off.
I’m totally going to keep watching these, though. I enjoy it on the same level that I enjoy “Dragonball: Evolution” where everything looks and feels wrong but I keep watching out of personal interest. I look forward to seeing where they’re going with this, and how they’re going to work in the tournament and the other characters. I won’t be posting these every week, of course, but you can keep tabs on it by subscribing to the YouTube channel it’s hosted on.
I Am Number Four So what is it?: Imagine “Dawson’s Creek” meets “Twilight,” but with aliens. Better than Twilight at least?: Of course, but that’s not saying much. This is one of those movies where it takes them an hour or so to develop the characters, nothing much happens except swoony-eyed teenager moments, and then all the cool stuff happens in the last 20 minutes. Then it segues into a cliffhanger ending for a sequel we’ll probably never see. Thank you, Hollywood, for your continued lack of foresight. Cliffhanger Syndrome: I’m fed up with this crap already. If you’re adapting an obscure book series into a feature film, DON’T end the first movie on a cliffhanger. Don’t have the main characters wink at the camera as if to say “thanks for sitting through 90 minutes of exposition! Join us next time when the REAL adventure begins!” The Golden Compass, Jumper, Push, Eragon, – you’re all guilty of this. I want to see the real adventure IN THE FIRST MOVIE. Good word-of-mouth comes from how good your movie is, not how good the next one will be. Save the cliffhangers for the sequels if you have to. Otherwise, all you’re making is a 90-minute trailer for a movie that might never happen. But that’s how it ends in the book!: Then adapt both books into one movie. Or just change the ending. That’s what they did in “Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.” They removed the book’s cliffhanger ending, made it into a stand-alone film, and now it’s actually getting a sequel. There’s a lesson to be learned here.
Red Riding Hood So what is…: It’s another Twilight movie. But better than Twilight, right?: About the same. It’s tween porn. Between this and Number Four, these movies really need to come with a label. Any redeeming factors?: Uhhh… I thought the village looked pretty cool. And the first time we see a wolf made me jump in my seat. Not much else. But other than that…: To be honest, I just wanted to talk through this movie – it’s just begging to be mocked when you watch it. I mean, come on – how can this lowly woodcutter be dirt-poor if he’s the only other guy in town who can clearly afford tons of hair gel? And then there’s this scene at the end, where the girl is trying to lure the bad guy into a false sense of security and the bad guy’s just blindly wandering into the most obvious trap ever as if expecting her to be handing out candy. And don’t get me started on the love triangle (SPOILER: she secretly picks one guy, and the other guy just magically starts leaving her alone. It’s the most half-assed “happily ever after” ever!)
Sucker Punch So what is it?: Five hot chicks try to escape from a mental asylum. This is accompanied by several vignettes that all take place in the main character’s head where she and her friends enter an assortment of fantasy worlds and proceed to kick all kinds of ass. It’s insane. The Budget: I really want to know: how the heck did they do this on an $82M budget? This has to be one the best looking movies I’ve ever seen. The special effects are ground-breaking, the animation is hard-hitting, the action sequences just keep going, the settings and camera-work are top-notch – even “Iron Man 2” didn’t have a fraction of this quality, and that one cost three times as much to make. I’m really kind of pissed off that out of all the superhero movies being made, none of them even try to be this awesome. The Downside: People are obviously going to complain about the weirdness of the story, and in truth, it is an acquired taste. It’s a mixture of 300, Chicago, Shutter Island, Sky Captain, and Heavy Metal all rolled into one. Some people will be all like “this is SO awesome” and others will say “I don’t get it.” Those other people are party poopers (that’s why we invited you, party pooperrrrrrrrrrr.)
Limitless It is good?: Yeah, it’s good. It’s that one about the guy who take a pill that enables him 100% use of his brain. Then he becomes super-smart and successful and must deal with the consequences and so on. It has a good blend of drama, comedy, and odd bits of action here and there. I liked it – it kept me engaged to see how a man might act if all of his potential were unlocked at once. It makes for a pretty cool watch. You would use that power for evil, wouldn’t you?: Eventually.