More to come soon as Term 1 comes to an end. It’s nice that video editing is actually a class in this school. It’s also nice that Student Resources gives me 24/7 access to Wacom tablets so I can get in some practice.
That last one is a caricature of my Animation History teacher. It was an odd assignment, but I’m assuming he’s collecting caricatures from us so he can show them off if we become famous.
I placed in first in yet another Cracked Photoshop contest (making this my fourth win!) This one caught me off-guard since I submitted a “man, everybody else’s entries are so awesome, I’m just going to half-ass my entry in under ten minutes” kind of entry. Although in retrospect, it does provide a good punchline for the contest in general. But definitely check out the rest of the contest – there were some excellent entries (I was rooting for the Nigerian Prince to win.)
Now all I need is for the Canadian dollar to go back up so I can finally transfer all this Cracked money out of my Paypal account.
Another one of my ‘shops has been featured on Cracked.com! This time around, we explore the DMV’s take on Mario Kart power-ups in real-world applications. Otherwise, you can read the dude’s whole article here. It’s pretty good.
An image I made was featured today on the front page of the Cracked website as part of their Daily Featured Topics segment. They were looking for a header image and paid me a whopping $25 (I’m rich!) to make an infograph about why anybody would ever use a pay phone these days. The article itself can be found here. Feel free to “Digg” it.
I do have to say, the article itself kind of confuses me. The picture I made points out 15 reasons to use a pay phone. Then the article goes on about the top 10 reasons to use one, but then only lists 5. Of course, it should be noted that Cracked’s writing staff is entirely made up of random people from their forums. But oh, well. $25! Yay! 30 more of those and this month’s mortgage should be covered.
I know I said I wouldn’t watch this because I despise Seltzer and Friedberg with every bone in my body, but I just don’t feel right ranting about a movie unless I’ve actually seen it. And once again, they manage to astound me. It really is worse than “Meet the Spartans.”
To be honest, I didn’t watch the whole movie since I eventually got used to skipping through scenes. About 40 seconds in (opening credits included,) the main character runs into a guy doing a bad impersonation of somebody from “American Gladiators” – who keeps talking about his catch phrases for 58 seconds. The main character kicks him in the balls, makes a steroids comment, and then the story continues as if that whole American Gladiator thing never happened. 20 seconds later, he runs into an Amy Winehouse impersonator who wastes the next three and a half minutes talking about rehab, drugs, alcohol, and then burps for forty seconds (Yes, I went back and I timed all this stuff.)
And that’s the entire formula for the rest of the movie. All in all, there’s about 5 minutes of plot (and anything related to disaster movies,) 65 minutes of untalented people pretending to be celebrities/film characters who do nothing but sit around repeating their catchphrases, and 20 minutes of bloopers of those same untalented people not getting their lines right. Anybody remember that episode of “Family Guy” where Stewie cuts away from the show so he can spend two minutes singing “Rocket Man?” Imagine an episode where that happens every 10 seconds, the song drags on longer and gets less relevant each time, and replace Stewie with somebody imitating Juno. That’s “Disaster Movie” in a nutshell.
Farce of the Penguins (2006)
I might get burned for liking this, but right after watching “Disaster Movie,” this was like I had died and gone to heaven. Bob Saget and Samuel L. Jackson in one movie! And look – it actually has a plot! And character development! And written gags! I never thought I could be so happy listening to Gilbert Gottfried screaming “I’m freezing my nuts off!”
Okay, so it’s not the greatest movie, but a million times more watchable than that other one. It’s a very low-budget parody of “March of the Penguins” where Bob Saget splices together stock footage of penguin documentaries and pictures he found on Google Image Search, then dubs over the movie (with no moving mouths) to create a raunchy romantic comedy about a penguin named Carl and his gang of really horny and fart-obsessed friends. In spite of it’s flaws and a few poorly written scenes, it’s kind of amusing to watch it all come together.
Movies coming out this Weekend: Fired Up: So… it’s about cheerleader camp… and it’s rated PG-13? DOES NOT COMPUTE! Madea Goes To Jail: So… it’s like Big Momma’s House… only it’s a drama? DOES NOT COMPUTE!
Most of this week was spent taking a break from my game and working overtime at my actual job trying to get some videos finished before the Christmas break. I ended up sleeping over at work on Thursday just to catch up, which was actually quite nice. I’m a lot more productive after the 4 ‘o clock hour, and even got to sneak in a couple hours of Urban Terror before crashing on the couch.
Friday night, Michaela invited me over for movie-watching and sushi. Saturday was my uncle’s birthday, so the family got together and drove out to Barrhead to take him out for Chinese food. Then I watched three hours of game shows while visiting. Then came the dreaded Sunday where I plunged headlong into the world of holiday shopping and spent the whole day wandering around West Edmonton Mall, visiting every store, and even watching the Sea Lion show. Fortunately, I think I’m done with that stuff for now.
This is Mark Meer. I consider him to be the greatest improv actor on the face of this planet. Yes, even better than the legendary Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie if they were throw into a blender and mixed with a dash of Robin Williams. And I’m not saying it just because he’s a fellow Edmontonian. I’m saying it because I see him at the Rapidfire Theater all the time and he never fails to disappoint. He’s got a ton of awards, and even did 53 hours of straight improv without sleep once. Outside of theater, he does voice work in BioWare video games such as Jade Empire, Neverwinter Nights, and performed the lead role in Mass Effect (if you choose to play as the male character – though I’m quite sure he would’ve pulled off the female one too.)
To see some of his work, you can revisit my older post about Improv on Infinite Earths. He plays Black Adam for the Legion of Doom in that one.
The reason I bring him up – the Fringe is in town. The Fringe is that time of year where all the street performers in the city actually get paid attention to and given money. Plus there’s balloons and kiosks everywhere. Me and my new friend went to go see some live improv with some of her friends and we were lucky enough to get a whole show with Mark Meer in it, along with two other fantastic performers, Kevin and Donovan.
They kicked off the show with a wonderful performance about shark-hunting with chainsaws (where the audience had to yell out suggestions whenever the performers came to a halt.) But the big one was where they asked for a volunteer from the audience and my new friend was the one who got picked. They asked her several things about her life, including parents, co-workers, and what she does for a living, and then had to re-enact a day in her life. The reason I brought up Mark Meer before is that he ended up playing her (which is essentially like getting Tom Hanks or Johnny Depp to star in your biopic.) So we were geeking out about that all night. The play itself was awesome. It involved male prostitution, an awesome robot, and the neverending battle against unkillable cancer.
Third act was a musical about a dish washer who’s wife visits him at work gives birth in the kitchen. It ended with them putting the baby in the dishwasher and setting it on the jet cycle. Then their final act was a send-up of 1970’s cop movies – in this case it was about a street wise cop named “Puddin” who’s teamed up with a mime to take down a drug cartel who works the tennis racket. I can’t begin to explain how awesome it is fighting criminals with a mime, so here’s another picture.
It’s a lot funnier on stage. Trust me. Can never go wrong with Rapidfire Chimprov.
Aside from that, we had a good night. Had some awesome bubble tea, ate green onion cakes, and watched YouTube videos while listening to stand-up comedy. One of those overall awesome Saturdays.
Does anyone watch the Olympics anymore? I’m not sure. I don’t follow them myself, but I’m assuming Canada’s won every medal so far. Anyway, the folks down at Cracked are holding yet another photoshop contest and I thought I’d throw my three cents on how they could make these games a lot more interesting.
1. Mix things up a little.
Literally. Why not have gymnasts perform their routines while having to avoid getting in the way of the boxing match below?
For that matter, they could also bring in the 100-Meter Slam Dunk, the Archery High-Dive and have people toss javelins at the BMX riders. More chaos = more fun.
2. Everybody’s Drunk
How can today’s audience relate to a bunch of athletes performing in their peak physical condition? We’re never in our peak physical condition! How about we take our best athletes, get them absolutely wasted, THEN send them out to compete on international television? YouTube will crash in minutes after people start uploading all the bloopers from the BMX Javelin Throw.
3. Wild Animals EVERYWHERE
You know that’s exactly how you’d improve it too. How can you have a 100-Meter Dash without a vicious cougar chasing everyone? And what’s a swimming pool that isn’t filled with angry crocodiles?
Sure, these suggestions would probably get everyone killed within the first few hours, but that’s Darwinism at work, folks. These people have to earn their TV ratings.