In one of the more hyped-up new stories this year, a team of explorers claim to have found the remains of Noah’s Ark trapped inside a glacier on Mt. Ararat. They are “99.9%” certain it’s the real thing (of course, if I was working in the cold mountain air for the last decade and badly needed a research grant, I’d be 99.9% certain as well.)
Much like it is with any age-old mystery, this is one of those stories I want to believe. Partly for the historical event value, and partly because I want to see Nazis show up and try to steal it (hell, I’m still crossing my fingers that Atlantis shows up eventually.) Of course, with all things, practically every news source is quick to jump to vague conclusions on whether or not this a hoax, and whether they just found some old wood. Granted, everybody on the internet immediately becomes an expert on the subject without even being present at the site, but then who can blame them when Noah’s Ark gets discovered every few years?
Even if it is real, the discovery would be more “cool” than it is ground-breaking or controversial. Believers already think the boat exists, and non-believers can scientifically explain a boat. Either way, the irony of the universe will bring everything back to square one.
Nevertheless, faith and skepticism go hand-in-hand when it comes to finding the truth. So in regards to whether I can be convinced that this is THE Ark, here’s my ultimatum: prove the remains are part of a boat. A big boat. I don’t care if the cubit dimensions are wrong, if there was only enough room for two rabbits and a horse, or if it belonged to someone called Bill – just prove it’s a boat, and I’ll call it Noah’s Ark. Because honestly, I don’t think you’re going to find any other 4800 year-old cargo ships stuck on top of Mt. Ararat.
And if you happen to find a Lost Ark inside the Ark, don’t open it.