Friday Movie Blogging 12-19-08: Watch the Icy Patch!

I was going to post a review of my favorite Christmas specials (A Charlie Brown Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Eight Crazy Nights, Mr. Hanky’s Christmas Classics, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, that episode of Invader Zim where Zim builds a giant Santa Claus monster, etc.) but then I came across the “Muppet Family Christmas” special from 1987 on YouTube.

This was one of my favorites as a kid. It’s 50 minutes of the most Muppets ever put into something, featuring the entire cast of the Muppet Show, Sesame Street, and Fraggle Rock all trapped inside Fozzie’s mom’s house during a blizzard. They sing holiday songs, crack jokes, Swedish Chef tries to murder Big Bird, and Jim Henson shows up at the end to clean up after everyone.

If I were you, I’d sit down with a cup of hot chocolate filled with marshmallows and watch the whole thing. It has Cookie Monster in it.

Movies I Saw This Week:

Christmas in Wonderland (2007)

Rating: n/a

Ever had a movie you couldn’t stop yelling at?

This is the infamous film that was filming at West Edmonton Mall last year. I finally got around to watching it. It stars Patrick Swayze, Tim Curry, Chris Kattan, and Carmen Electra, but it’s essentially “Home Alone” in a mall as two kids go nuts with a bag full of counterfeit cash. I remember walking through the sets whenever they were filming and getting shooed away by that crowd control lady. I even got to see Chris Kattan on the escalator once. He was just standing there looking bored. It was cool.

The reason I can’t give this a proper review is because of how close-to-home it is. I used to work in the back hallways of that mall for six months and I know it inside and out, so naturally I had to keep yelling at it every time the movie did something that went against my understanding of mall physics.


• “Stupid kids! The ice rink’s in the middle of the mall! How did you walk from the pirate ship to Santa’s village and NOT SEE IT?!”
• “You can’t jump the rails at the water-park and harass the girls! Where’s the lifeguards?!”
• “Chris Kattan is sitting in my chair at Tim Horton’s?! His butt and my butt are soul mates now!”
• “Stupid kids! Why did you walk five blocks to the other Booster Juice when there was one in the food court twenty feet away?!”
• “It’s not a toy store! It’s a hobby shop!”
• “What’s wrong with the pipes in the basement?! Why is there steam everywhere?! We’re supposed to evacuate the mall if that happens!”
• “Why is the only basement worker a one-eyed creep with a dog on a chain? What did he do to the other employees?!”
• “MY NO-SMOKING SIGN! I PAINTED THAT! IT’S IN THE MOVIE! I WANT ROYALTIES!!!”
• “Stupid kids! The security office is right next to the ice rink! How do you keep missing the biggest landmark in the mall?!”
• “What the hell is going on?!”
• “Why is the roof door unlocked?! I worked there for months and they never gave me a key! Why does this six-year old girl have one?!”
• “How are the Sea Lions performing without supervision?! Who’s giving them fish?!”

I hope this movie isn’t what gave Patrick Swayze cancer.

Eagle Eye (2008)

Rating: C

Me and Brit watched this and Saw on Saturday. This isn’t a great movie either unfortunately. Got a couple good chases, a few nice explosions, and Rosario Dawson’s in it. Unfortunately, it’s like a big mash-up of “Enemy of the State,” “Die Hard 4,” and “Get Smart,” taking plot elements from all of those movies, starting off strong, and then tapering off at the end when suddenly politics and government conspiracies start bogging down the story.

Saw V (2008)

Rating: D-

So… it was a flashback in a flashback, referring to a flashback from the last movie? No, wait? It wasn’t? It’s happening now? Or the other part is the flashback? Listen, movie, you just showed me somebody sticking their hand on a moving saw blade. It’s really hard to follow convoluted time travel plots when that’s happening.

At least I learned some Spanish from the bootleg subtitles.

Movies Out This Weekend:

-Yes Man (Jim Carrey says yes to another monster paycheck)
-The Tale of Despereaux (from the beloved children’s novel no one read)
-Seven Pounds (Will Smith and Rosario Dawson in something)

Movies Out On Christmas:

-Bedtime Stories (Adam Sandler and a big-eyed guinea pig. For some reason.)
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt’s old and gets younger. I actually want to see this.)
-Marley & Me (The dog dies. Merry Christmas!)
-The Spirit (According to the posters, it’s porn. According to the trailers, it’s Sam Jackson. According to critics, it’s Battlefield Earth. I’m confused.)

Isn’t Christmas supposed to be one of those days where people are too busy to go to the movies? .

December 19 2008 10:59 am | Movies

5 Responses to “Friday Movie Blogging 12-19-08: Watch the Icy Patch!”

  1. Melanie on 20 Dec 2008 at 2:24 pm #

    I have yet to see Christmas in Wonderland.. I really want to, even though I’ve heard it’s not so good.. lol. It’s filmed at the mall….. it has to be good… doesn’t it?? On a cool note a fellow former Teddy bear Artist wrote the Screen play.. I had no idea till the other day.
    I read Marley and me a few years ago.. I hate sad Dog stories.. cause, yeah, I want to watch something that will make me cry.. lol.
    Hope you have a good Christmas Chris!!!
    Hugs,
    Melanie

  2. Chris on 20 Dec 2008 at 4:03 pm #

    Merry Christmas, Melly! And yeah, I can only recommend the movie if you go to the mall often enough. But just because of the novelty – not because it’s a good movie.

  3. Melanie on 21 Dec 2008 at 1:00 pm #

    Yeah, I think I will love it for only the mall factor. It’s still my favorite place.. heehee. I need to start going back there more. I miss it. lol.

  4. Chris on 21 Dec 2008 at 1:09 pm #

    That’s why we need to hang out more.

  5. Avatar on 08 Jan 2009 at 1:00 am #

    I have seen Die Hard 4. The concepts seem to be used again Eagle Eye. Well, I still did enjoyed Eagle Eye and it was great.

    About Yes Man, it was hilarious. It’s totally different than Jim’s previous movies. :)

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