Welcome to the New and Improved


version 6.0!

Welcome to the ultimate home page! I'm Chris Ushko and you've entered the wonderful twisted world of my imagination! Here, we've got everything! Cartoons! Games! Books! More Games! Lots of games! And exclamation points! It's everything you ever wanted! So drop in, take some time off from the craziness of social media, and enjoy my little niche corner of the internet!

IN DEV GAMES BOOKS CARTOONS

In Development!

I'm making a game about superheroes, in the spirit of the old 90's Batman/Superman cartoons. This is my "dad project", seeing as how I have to juggle this with raising a newborn. So the goal is to make a short "Full Throttle"-length game with "Walking Dead"-style story choices. Instead of conventional inventory items, a lot of the gameplay will revolve around using your super-abilities to solve puzzles, resulting in alternate solutions with varying degrees of success. It's turning out bigger than expected so far, so... updates as I go, I guess! It's the first game in what I call "The Box of Mystery 6-Pack", a series of original one-offs I want to produce.


Games!

Stair Quest (2016)

Whose ready for epic stair-climbing? You are! The kingdom of Castlewood is under attack and only you and your epic thighs can save the day! Are you hero enough to brave all the flights of stairs? Of course you are! Go quest on those stairs right now!

Chester Cornfield: Old Timey Detective (2016)

Old Timey hijinks are abound in this adventure game short! Travel back to Old York City where the police call in the world's most Old Timey Detective to resolve a mysterious food poisoning.

Late Last Nite (2015)

From the minds at "No More For Today Productions", get ready to journey into a world full of mermaids, candy, and Muppet vampires on your quest to find your missing stuff!

Space Quest Incinerations (2012)

Join space hero Roger Wilco on an epic trek across the galaxy to save his girlfriend, defeat an army of space chickens and find his missing luggage! Features stuff, stuff, and more stuff! This is a very stuff-filled game! Also, your best friend is a robot named Doomtron! Not gonna lie; you should be playing this right now! This game's sort of a big deal to me!

Vohaul Strikes Back (2011)

I don't think you had enough Space Quest, so here's some more! From a team of disturbingly-devoted Sierra fans comes another huge adventure! This time on an ice planet covered with furry blue guys! And there's a farting walrus in it and an army of gorillas maybe! You should play this too! Just download it and keep it on your desktop where that icon will nag at you until you play it.

King's Quest: The Silver Lining (2010)

I used to work with Phoenix Online on this game. It's pretty huge! There's, like, four chapters worth of gameplay with a new one still on the way! A huge cast of talented people worked on from all over the industry so check it out! I play a talking stick in it.

M:I-2: LeChuck's Revenge (2003)

Hey! Do you want to play a remake of "Monkey Island 2", except it's all animated with Windows Paint and the whole story's been retold using outdated movie references? Of course you do! Jump into this Klik-N-Play oldie that any sane person would have a hard time believing exists.

Monkey Island: The Devil's Triangle (2001)

Here's another Monkey Island game I made, also with Windows Paint and Klik-n-Play! Man, those were good times.

Lazlo's Spud Wars (1999)

It's my first game! Only it's not an adventure game. It's a five-minute shooter filled with an archive of sound effects I had sitting on my hard drive. It's ends with the world exploding. Probably unplayable on today's computers.


Books!

These are my books! They're not free; you have to buy them on Kindle. But they're sometimes free, so follow my Twitter and I'll let you know. I started writing them back in '97 and then kept rewriting them for 20 years. Then a friend convinced me to finish one for an NaNoWriMo event. And then I finished them. I'm really happy with how they turned out.

AR_CoverAncients' Royale (2013)

The first book is about two brothers running a bar, and one of them hits it off with a girl who discovers they might be vampires. Except they're not vampires (not the brothers anyway) and they turn out to be secret 9000 year-old Fire-Blood Angel/Demons. And then they blow their cover and a demon sorceress tracks them down to Halifax accompanied by the seven demons released from Pandora's Box. So they team up with Poseidon, a Chinese Immortal, and the King of France to defeat the sorceress and her monsters and that's it. Also, there's lot of Doctor Who references. This is basically a young adult novel gone insane. If somebody wants to option it for a poorly-adapted low-budget movie, please contact me. I'd be so down for that.

AR_CoverAncients' Royale II: Wrath of Ages (2016)

Ooh! Now this one I spent a bunch of time on. I read a crap-ton of Greek/Norse mythology, lots of Lovecraft, and played "Mass Effect 2" way too many times to research this one. This one takes everybody out of the city and across the world in a magic airship as they hurry to stop the Titans from conquering the world. There twists and turns and character development galore! And a dog that shoots bees out of its mouth! Still my favourite of the three.

AR_CoverAncients' Royale III: Destroyers of the Universe (2015)

This is the book that justified this trilogy being books instead of cartoons. Mainly because I keep describing everything in the millions and trillions. The final chapter is basically a road trip across the nine afterlives, with the Four Horsemen running amock and the two brothers coming to terms with the insanity of their own lives. Also: Martian Zombie Dinosaurs, because why not go out with a bang? I had to rush this one because I had a baby on the way, so forgive any spelling errors and join me on this last wild ride.


CARTOONS!

Wasabi Guy (2012)

I made this at Vancouver Film School. It chronicles the time I ate a whole thing of wasabi.

Ducktalez 1: The Motion Picture (2001)

You know how you can put a ton of work into something nice and people will instead remember you for that short, stupid thing you once made? This is that thing. This is why Box of Mystery exists.

Ducktalez 2: Residuck Evil (2004)

And this is the sequel, now with more celebrity cameos.

DucktaleZ 3 (2005)

Vegeta from "Dragon Ball Z" drops by to steal Scrooge's lucky dime. Everything that is anime ensues.

Ducktalez 4: The Wishing Star (2009)

This is the start of the "Nephew Trilogy". In this one, Louie meets a giant robot. Friendship ensues.

Ducktalez 5: Quack to the Future (2010)

Dewey gets his own time-travel episode! Paradoxes ensue.

Ducktalez 6: The Duck Knight (2011)

And this one has Huey vs. Darkwing Duck! Me singing a Spice Girls duet with myself ensues.

Ducktalez 7 (2013)

This one is the grand finale that people kept asking for and then backed away from when they saw it was 40 minutes long. It's basically "The Big Lebowski" starring Scrooge, Vegeta, and Gizmoduck. This one reportedly made some people cry, so have tissues handy.


OLD COMICS FROM HIGH SCHOOL!

You came this far, so... here's the Hamster Cage archive.