How LOST Ends

**WARNING** Contains very, very real spoilers
**DOUBLE WARNING** Comments might contain actual spoilers

So as it turns out, the island is really a crashed roller disco from a planet in the Horsehead Nebula inhabited by dinosaurs. They came to Earth to feast on our molten goo and bring us the gift of song when they were intercepted by Lord Smoke Monster and his polar bear army who wanted to steal their power crystals. Both spaceships collided and landed in our ocean somewhere.

The show basically ends with Captain Vincent The Dog giving all the castaways special rings that allow them to control the elements. Then they rise up against Lord Smoke Monster and use his magical Numbers of Power to seal him inside the Phantom Zone. Then Hurley turns into a cake and the screen says “THE END…?”

All in all, I rate it a solid B+. Plenty of full-frontal nudity, twenty minutes of nunchuk fighting, and a lovely scene where Sawyer lets out the biggest fart ever. “Lost” did not disappoint.

May 24 2010 12:00 am | TV

5 Responses to “How LOST Ends”

  1. jolly_old_saint on 24 May 2010 at 3:23 am #

    It really threw me when they revealed there was that one corner of the island that was John Malkovich. Who was actually Ultraman. The Bidoof-Jesus-Rainbow Raider allegory, though? Best writing ever.

    …But I’m still pissed about that plothole where John From Cincinnati used Starman’s staff to recharge his green lantern ring. That’s not how it works, damnit! And they wrote Glomgold completely out of character. Sure, his robot fight with Richie Rich and Astro Boy was awesome, but the motivation was all wong. The 80s TMNT would’ve saved it, but without their original voices it seemed a lackluster finish to me.

  2. blubface on 26 May 2010 at 5:52 pm #

    GOING TO MAKE A GAME NEED GIRL FOR VOICE CASTING

    CAN YOU HELP?

  3. blubface on 26 May 2010 at 5:53 pm #

    p.s. it looks cooler on the blog typing space

  4. jolly_old_saint on 26 May 2010 at 8:05 pm #

    Alas, I’m not a girl, but I’m willing to dress up and pretend if you are.

  5. blubface on 01 Jun 2010 at 7:07 pm #

    lol

    ya but im going to have to trash the idea

    my mom wont let me use her computer

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