Let’s go get some gellato!

Ok, I’m back. Saw another country. Experienced a new culture. Ate many interesting foods. Got bitten several times by a cat. Came home, and now dealing with a very heavy case of jet lag while trying not to fall asleep at the computer again (like I did when I tried to write this last night.)

For those of you unfamiliar with Italy, it’s that country in Europe shaped like a disembodied Tyrannosaurus limb where everybody speaks Italian and listens to English radio.

Italy2

It was home to many Vespas, pigeons, churches covered in century-old statues, and many interesting varieties of hot chocolate. I stayed with my long time friend, Valentina (the one who got me started on all those music videos) where I was mauled to death on a daily basis by her cat. Due to some complications, as well as a bloody transportation strike, I was only able to visit three major cities – Mestre, Venice, and Padova. And because some of you just want to see pictures, here you go:

Venice:
Because clearly you haven’t seen enough pictures of this place in movies and on TV. Got to see a nice religious festival here (complete with Goku and Spongebob balloons,) saw the library where Indiana Jones uncovered the Holy Grail catacombs (which is actually a church in real life – Hollywood LIED to us,) and took a nice stroll through the darkened alleys of night-life Venizia.

Mestre:
I spent most of my time here because this is where I stayed. When in Mestre, and probably everywhere else in Italy, remember that snack bars are your friends. I could spend all day snacking on those sandwiches.

Padova:
About 20 minutes by train from Mestre, we have the beautiful city of Padova, which is a lot like a dilapidated medieval version of Edmonton, only with more battlements and city walls. It also has the amazing St. Anthony’s chapel there which is probably one of the most amazing pieces of architecture I’ve seen throughout the entire trip.

All that other stuff:
From plane shots to my going-away birthday party to Italian curiosities (such as Harry Potter wearing a rat helmet,) here’s where I store all those extra pictures I took.

Some odds and ends about Italy:

  • Forget pasta and pizza – you’re there for the ice cream and the sandwiches.
  • Speaking of food, pumpkin-filled ravioli is AWESOME.
  • Pastry shops – also awesome.
  • Raw meat and oranges for lunch? Strange… yet… awesome.
  • “Mamma Mia” is actually more of a women and children’s phrase.
  • Contrary to what “Italian Phrases for Dummies” teaches us, Italians apparently DO NOT love to talk, or at least DO NOT want it implied that they love to talk.
  • “Italian Phrases for Dummies” is probably not the best book you should read before going there. You can apparently get lynched for using any of those phrases.
  • In Italy, Arnold Schwarzenegger voices Optimus Prime. How cool is that?
  • I just found out “Schwarzenegger” is included in the WordPress spell check.
  • Ironically, the word “WordPress” isn’t.
  • “Ciao,” “Arrivederci,” “Per Favor,” “Grazie,” and “Preggo” are the essential words, but you darn well better know how to ask for directions to a bathroom, get a table, or ask the waitress why your water tastes like disgusting watered-down wine.
  • Incidentally, the disgusting watered-down wine is carbonated mineral water. Restaurants reserve the right NOT to serve you free tap water.
  • Many Italian drivers will not slow down for a baby carriage. Cross the street quickly and carefully.
  • As a side-note, Italy is definitely more of a ladies’ country. Reasoning being, I could barely find any souvenirs to buy that weren’t ornamental glassware, leather boots, hats, or expensive jewelry. It a great place to shop for women, but if you’re a guy, you’re better off picking up souvenirs while connecting to flights in Amsterdam (where you can’t buy a t-shirt that doesn’t have pot all over it.)
  • You don’t know funny until you see an 18th-century Frenchman kick Darth Vader in the balls.
  • Jada is in charge of sombreros.

    -Chris Ushko

    December 05 2007 01:03 am | Travel

    6 Responses to “Let’s go get some gellato!”

    1. Pstonie on 05 Dec 2007 at 5:56 am #

      From those photos I get the idea that Venice may be interesting to visit despite having seen it in a thousand movies already.

      I should seriously start traveling. I don’t think knowing San Andreas like the back of my hand is going to cut it.

    2. Pstonie on 05 Dec 2007 at 5:58 am #

      Forgot to ask; did you have time to pull off any daring heists while you were there?

    3. Chris on 05 Dec 2007 at 8:43 am #

      No. We rode the bus everywhere and you know how unreliable those things are when you’re trying to make a daring escape.

      You should definitely get out and about. San Andreas is nothing like the real thing (except that’s it likely someone will stop your car and drag you out of it.)

    4. Fated on 05 Dec 2007 at 3:24 pm #

      LOL a daring escape on a public bus would be classic I would like to see them put that in the next Ocean movie lol.

      Did you buy a pot covered tshirt? LOL I think that the souvenirs in Amsterdam would be awesome. Even from just in the airport it would be very interesting.

      I think my favorite picture is the one going over the Alps. I thought it was wonderful and then I read where it was. Awesome :)

    5. BDTM on 06 Dec 2007 at 9:25 am #

      I’d love to see an 18th century Frenchman kick Darth Vader in the balls.

    6. blubface on 12 May 2010 at 5:47 pm #

      me too, whatever that ment

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