In yet another interesting twist from NBC series, “Heroes,” creator Tim Kring has spoken out to fans regarding the new season and “why it sucks so much.” This would probably go about explaining why there haven’t been any groundbreakingly awesome episodes up until the last two. Ultimately, in this interview, he goes about explaining why the show’s pace has been so slow, and how he was wrong about introducing new characters and not having them do anything for several episodes. He’s apologized, and come these next few episodes, all the character development should hopefully be replaced with explosions.
Still, there’s a few issues Tim Kring forgot to address which we’ve hunted down and beaten the answers out of him for:
Tim, let’s discuss your characters. Last season, we became acquainted with many unique and interesting new heroes still learning to cope with their abilities. This season, they’ve all become blithering idiots. Why?
“I’m sorry. I thought audiences liked them being stupid. It was originally in our intent to make them exponentially dumber in every season, only to reveal in the final episode that Mohinder has the ability to lower the IQ of everyone around him. Unfortunately, we realized this plotline wouldn’t pan out since Mohinder was the dumbest one of all.”
In many situations, it’s almost like these heroes seem to forget they have superpowers. Is this a side-effect of their stupidity?
“(laughs) Actually, it’s an homage to the old ‘Super Friends’ cartoons. We thought ‘Remember those old cartoons where Superman gets tied up by a bad guy, and it takes him a whole episode before he remembers he can just break the ropes? Wouldn’t it be hilarious if we did something like that for half a season?’ That’s why we kept Hiro in feudal Japan for so long, and that’s why Peter and Nathan still walk everywhere. In some cases, we try to make stuff up where we say the Haitian is suppressing people’s powers, but we all know he can’t do that. We’re just jerking everyone around. Sorry, folks. (laughs)”
For the new characters, we have a girl who can copy what she sees, and another girl who cries death. These are reasonably crappy powers compared to teleportation and flight. Is there a point to either of them yet?
“No, not really. Sometimes Greg Grunberg gets everyone wasted a day before shooting, and in the morning we’ve got Hayden crawling around with a migraine and Milo spooning Masi, so we’re forced to come up with last minute plot lines to fill in whatever we can’t shoot. We might have a chance to work Maya into the story by having Sylar use her as a weapon, but we don’t have a bloody clue what to do with Monica. We’re hoping to kill her off as soon as possible – preferably by copying something she saw on ‘Jackass.’ We’re already dreaming up a death sequence involving a go-kart and a bull.”
The Company already has a man called ‘The Haitian’ working for them. What would they call him if their HR department hired another Haitian?
“We refer to that as the ‘Hell Scenario.’ In which case, we’d either have to change the Haitian’s name, or refer to the new guy as ‘New Haitian.’ It’s not something we look forward to, but this issue will get addressed in season 3.”
How many more split personalities will Nikki have?
“37. At least 5 or 6 of them are going to be homicidal maniacs, but the rest are going to be a veritable potpourri of Playboy bunnies, naughty nurses, dominatrix strippers and whatever else we feel like dressing up Ali Larter as. I love having this girl under contract.”
Has Linderman, the now-deceased head of the Linderman Corporation who tried destroying New York last season, ever loved anyone?
“Linderman is gay, actually. In my mind, he had an unrequited love affair with Gellert Grindelwald, Sylar’s predecessor.”
Assuming you’ve seen every cast member naked by now, who has the biggest penis?
In recent episodes, Sylar’s lost all of his stolen powers, and we still don’t quite understand how he steals them in the first place. Does he eat people’s brains or what?
“Eat brains? No, no, no. He cuts out people’s brains and sticks them up his bum. I thought everyone knew this. We’ve been leaving plenty of clues.”
Before we go, what we can expect in terms of future storylines after the writer’s strike?
“We’ve been mostly stealing story ideas from ’24′ lately, so for the next season, we’re hoping to tap into some other shows for inspiration. We’re looking to strand Peter, Claire, and Hiro on a mysterious island in the Pacific where they fall victim to several of Sylar’s twisted mind-games. Meanwhile, Matt and Mohinder try out for America’s Next Top Model and discover an insidious terrorist plot to pump nerve gas into a mall (no, not like on 24 – this one is original.) Also, keep your eyes open this holiday season when Mr. Muggles teaches Mr. Bennett the true meaning of Christmas. It’ll be a blast!”