Yet another “Worst Movie Ever Made” is about to be made.

Airplane, Spaceballs, The Naked Gun, Blazing Saddles, Hot Shots, Scary Movie, Young Frankenstein, Monty Python and the Holy Grail – for as long as I remember, the spoof genre has always been one of my favorites. The formula is simple – you take an existing movie or genre, and you re-imagine it as a comedy where the rules of logic and physics no longer apply. When you’re re-writing something that’s already been written, there should be no limit to what can come out of your imagination.

And yet, for the last three years, parodies have been terrorized by the threat of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. These two imbeciles were originally credited as “2 of the 6 Writers of Scary Movie” when they released their first movie “Date Movie” a few years ago. As to which part of Scary Movie they wrote – I’m not sure, but I’m assuming all their work is included in the deleted scenes section of the DVD. Their other two atrocities are Epic Movie and Meet The Spartans, both of which I trust you’ve avoided so far.

They’ve re-invented spoofs, but not for the best. In fact, they’ve created something that can’t possibly be funny even if you were high or drunk. Instead of lampooning something, they find a bunch of popular movies from last year, clip out all their favorite parts, and stitch them together into one big incoherent mess. Instead of writing clever dialogue like “And don’t call me Shirley,” they repeat movies’ catch phrases until we’re sick of them. Then they take all the best jokes from those movies and re-use those as well. When they can’t find any other movie to rip off, they bring in reality show and pop star cameos to round out the circle of awfulness. Then they top it off with a break-dance number or rap video. It’s embarrassing to watch, and even more embarrassing to admit you’ve seen.

(Incidentally, I’ve only seen these through BitTorrent, and never entirely in one sitting.)

The reason I bring them up now is because they haven’t been fired yet. Inexplicably, their movies are bringing in tons of money, meaning Mike Judge’s theory of an Idiocracy is coming true. They’ve already started work on their next movie, Disaster Movie, which follows the adventures of several teens trying to escape every natural disaster in existence. A good premise for a comedy, yes. Will it work? No.

The story follows this group of friends on their comic misadventures as they try to escape in the midst of catastrophic events while simultaneously trying to solve a series of mysteries to end the destruction. DISASTER MOVIE takes aim at everything and everyone, from “Sex and the City” and “There Will Be Blood” to Amy Winehouse and Dr. Phil., lampooning movies, pop culture icons and public figures along the way.

I’ll give them credit – Sex and the City and Amy Winehouse seem like reasonable fodder for something called Disaster Movie, but once again, they’re just going to be re-enacting a bunch of stuff we’ve already seen in this year’s movies. There’s gotta be at least one scene where someone puts on an Iron Man costume and flies into a wall. And another scene where a guy in a panda costume shows up to do kung fu on someone pretending to be Shia Laboeuf. And hey – you know that “Chocolate Rain” video on YouTube? That’ll be in there too.

The worst part is that there’s no sight of any real spoofs coming back anytime soon. The monkeys in Hollywood are seeing the $80M+ box office these movies are bringing in and figuring that this is what the world wants more of. Upon checking the demographics of the votes on IMDB, it seems that “Females Under 18” are their core audience. And if they have the numbers to keep this garbage in circulation, I can only shudder at how well Sex in the City is about to do this weekend.

The end is near.

Please enjoy this video by Maddox.

May 30 2008 10:28 pm | Movies, Videos

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