Here’s a video of someone throwing a brick into a washing machine. It’s really popular, and may be a sign that the internet is reaching it’s end. Remember when dancing hamsters used to amuse us? Times have changed. Fast-forward to 50 seconds in for the good stuff.
And now that you’ve seen that, here’s a shorter version where the washing machine has a face.
August 06 2010 | Killing Time, Stuff Other People Made, Stupidity, Videos | 2 Comments »
February 07 2010 | Cartoons, Music, Music Videos, Stuff I Made, Stupidity, Videos | No Comments »
The first solar eclipse occurred the first time the moon passed between the earth and sun. Chuck Norris had nothing to do with this as the event took place 4 billions years ago, and he was born in 1940.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, then you have a total of ten dollars combined. The presence of Chuck Norris does not alter numerical values.
Chuck Norris tried to sue MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around him. The judge called him an idiot and dismissed the case.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face, hence the brain damage.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. He later bought the school a new periodic table and apologized for his actions.
There is no theory of evolution according to Chuck Norris, because he is a creationist.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. That isn’t supposed to be funny, by the way. Someone should really call the police.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero, thanks to Grade 6 math.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He’s worried he’ll wake up and find out he has more illegitimate children.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. It goes on his ex-wife’s credit card.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. This is how he got fired from his first job.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The judge sighed and dismissed the case again.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. A likely defect caused by fetal alcohol syndrome.
Chuck Norris can’t run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. His arm to head distance would have to be over 22000 km for that to work, and his bones would break under the stress.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 8,420,000 Google search results.
If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked” you will generate 3,110,000 results.
Chuck Norris tried to use his own hand to beat a Royal Flush, but they beat him up and took his money anyway.
Chuck Norris can’t finish a “color by numbers” because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Why hasn’t anyone arrested this psychotic bastard yet?
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris is always late.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. They’ve been doing that a lot lately.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. If a child is blocking the way.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography. The judge put a restraining order on Chuck Norris, ordering him to stay away from his courtroom.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy. It is run by a group of government conspirators who trick the American people into believing they don’t exist. Chuck Norris just farts around the house watching TV and laughing at Chuck Norris jokes on the internet while this happens.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a beverage. The cops took him in and demolished his lemonade stand. He is no longer allowed to associate with the neighborhood children.
August 06 2009 | Humor, Killing Time, Pop Culture, Stupidity | 1 Comment »
UPDATE: Play Pstonie’s Quest for Madonna’s Golden Orbs in the forums!
UPDATE #2: Also play Justas’ Space Jeff Game in the forums!
I’m dealing with some seriously stressful crap in my life right now, so I’ll be taking another break from regular blogging until it blows over, fixes itself, or at least gets within a reasonable stability. Gotta stay focused on other stuff. I’ll probably just post a funny video from time to time or something like that.
In the meantime, I found a long forgotten gem in the forums. Who was around when we played “Chris Adventure?” Well, after almost two years, I finally got around to sticking a recap of it all in a convenient Flash package for your arrow-clicking amusement. I’d forgotten how quickly this game went downhill.
Enjoy! I’ll try not to completely disappear off the face of the Earth.
April 06 2009 | Daily Life, Humor, Killing Time, Stupidity, Video Games | 6 Comments »
All right, Michaela. I’ll see your Appalachian State University song and raise you this.
(Courtesy of Olzen)
Yes, that’s a real commercial.
It’s pretty funny if you stop the video after she yells “DAD!”
February 11 2009 | Music, Stupidity, Videos | 4 Comments »
The Mythbusters say yes.
(Courtesy of Melanie.)
January 28 2009 | Killing Time, Science, Stupidity, Videos | 2 Comments »
Terrence, I think you’ll get a kick out of this.
Courtesy of the Nostalgia Critic:
Cartoon All-Stars will probably get hammered on for the rest of eternity, but God help me if I ever get sick of watching people’s reactions to it.
January 14 2009 | Cartoons, Humor, Killing Time, Pop Culture, Stupidity, Videos | 1 Comment »
Given a lot of my present day behavior, there’s the distinct possibility that I was a dog in a past life. Just a few things I’ve noticed about my habits to give me this impression:
Signs that eating chocolate may kill me someday
- I’ll eat and drink whatever is put in front of me without any sense of moderation and chew on anything that gets within a few inches of my mouth.
- I’ll often wake up on top of the covers and curled up at the foot of my bed.
- I’ve been known to chase cats on occasion.
- I can hear dog whistles.
- My eyebrows make up 90% of my body language (they have to work overtime since I can’t wag my tail.)
- When people are sad, my first instinct is to put my head on their lap and listen to their problems (only applies to women, and they probably think the lap thing is creepy.)
- When people are angry, my first instinct is to go into the other room confused and hang my head until they stop being angry.
- When people are happy, my first instinct is to sit near the happiest people/women and let them lavish attention upon me.
- I often fantasize about being Scooby-Doo in a Daphne-Velma sandwich (okay, I made that one up – but I DID put a mental picture in your head.)
- Rub me the right way, and I’ll be your loyal-to-the-end best friend forever.
Of course, a lot of my behavior can still be attributed to other possible past animal lives. My habit to spend time on the couch and smell things could have been picked up from being a cat. Other times, I’ll perch on something like a vulture and scare the crap out of everybody. Then there’s my overwhelming desire to reign destruction down upon mankind and enslave the human race, which I guess makes me either a dragon or an incredibly kick-ass unicorn.
You can hit me with a newspaper for that terribly lame dog pun in the post title now.
January 12 2009 | Daily Life, Philosophy?, Stupidity | 4 Comments »
Last week, I blogged about the elections and the economic crisis. This week, I’m blogging about invisible poop.
So imagine you’re invisible and you’ve got free run of the world. In order to maintain invisibility, your food would need to become invisible too when you eat it, but as result, wouldn’t that mean that your defecation becomes invisible by default? And would it stay like that after leaving your body? Or would your body act as an invisibility shield that hides your internals only as long as they’re in your body? If that’s the case, we have nothing to worry about.
But if poop would come out invisible, the world would change as we know it. Even moreso than simply having invisible people walking around. Anybody reckless enough would normally swipe stuff and steal food from buffets. Not a bad racket and annoying enough as it is, but we have to assume that if they’re evil enough to do that, there are other disgusting acts they’re willing to engage in to drive us mad. Being that since they’re invisible, they’re probably naked too and could take a dump wherever they want. On the sidewalk, on your chair, in your food, on your dog – the world is their toilet. You couldn’t go anywhere without needing a pair of infrared goggles to avoid hidden steamers. And every time you smelled something bad, you’d have to go wipe your shoes just in case. Invisible poop is a prankster’s dream.
Science is currently hard at work developing cloaking devices. So far, these are of the clothing variety (ala Predator) and not the serum variety (ala Hollow Man) which would render your very molecules invisible. So we’re safe from invisible poop for now. You never know what the future will bring though, so don’t say you were never warned.
October 08 2008 | Stupidity | 2 Comments »